Testimony
As all humans do,I started off care-free,my how things have changed.My name is Hayden Leitzke,and here is a little bio on my “Fairy-tale”.As a toddler I had the night terrors which were basically the worst nightmares a toddler could think of.My parents had to run into my room alot at night because I would fall off my bed from tossing and turning do to fear and then on my back I would crawl backwards until I hit the wall,mind you I was still sleeping during these abhorrent occasions.I can’t explain why,but from then on I began hallucinating,at that age it meant nothing to me,however as I grew older,things got alittle different.These hallucinations began seeming more and more devestating and real.I never wanted to tell anyone including family for fear of non-belief or to be titled crazy.It was about when I was 10 that things went way down-hill.I couldn’t explain it at the time,but for some reason,I would get bursts of rage.One night I had discovered one of my Dad’s knives he had for diving,it was a really sharp knife.I can remember holding that knife and thinking about ending the non-stop torture my life was bound to.My parents had just bought me a computer for my uncle,and I loved that computer.My parents had thought that since I had just got the computer the reason for me staying up until 6:00am or later was obvious.While they may have thought that I was always on the computer this late,I was really plotting my death,and it was the same blade I would stare at hours on end.We then moved to Winter Haven which is my current location,and things were everything I expected and less.I went to middle school,and I would love to tell you that things got better,but you guessed it,they didn’t.I hung out with the wrong crowd for the most part.Most of my freinds were on drugs,which fortunately I never tried.It was then that I had learned about Cutting,the most popular form of showing depression,by exchanging the mental pain to the physical.If I could explain as to why I started cutting,my life would be much easier,it is just something that you start doing,and eventually it becomes addicting.7th grade came,and so did a new desperate attempt by my parents,sending me to a new school.One would think that a Christian school would be the solution,a place that would love me and help me through my struggling.Wrong.This Christian school actually turned me Satanic.It was then that I became possessed.Hollywood,as we all know,likes to throw things way out of the context,when I say ‘Possessed’ I don’t mean that I had absolutely no control over my body,however I know something Demonic had a firm grip on my heart.Mr.Brown,I will probably never forget that name.He was the main person who ruined me.I was height challenged,and oh boy did he love it.Mind you this is the same school I thought would love me.He would rattle my cage up every day,just because he could.He would call me names,and he would laugh when someone in the class did the same.I had obviously told him to stop it,but he only got more encouraged.Now I would love to tell you that I have forgiven this Man,but some things you just can’t bring your heart to do.To this day I hate him,something I know is wrong to do,but I just cant help it.Finally my parents decided to put me in a place called Peace River,which was a place for all ages to be helped who have either thought about or attempted homocide and/or suicide.This kind of place is often known as a pshyc-ward.This place didn’t have padded walls,or the straight-jackets,but one thing was for sure,they couldn’t help me.Once I was released from Peace River my parents put me into a more decent place.Now when I say decent I don’t mean it was like a hotel,in fact it was way far from it.You had to wake up to needles every day to make sure you werent somehow getting drugs,and basically your bed-time story was the priviledge of getting to hear someone in the next room screaming.There was also room-mates,and mine was there for thoughts of homocide and suicide.Imagine sleeping in the same room with someone like that.now obviously there were many checks for sharp objects,but I do recall accidentally bringing a pencil back into my room,it scared me how easy it was,and I didn’t even mean to do it.After many tests by medical professionals they had finally found the pills that I needed in order to gain sanity.My pills change alot,I’m always having to switch back and forth between different pills.The doctors had confirmed that I was Bipolar,which is a chemical imbalance in my brain,which in most people can make you hyper-active,or make you depressed.For me,I have both,which is a rare case of it,especially at my age,and the age when it became noticable.I will be taking pills for the rest of my life,but if it means living the life of smiles,so be it.I accepted Jesus Christ into my life on November 13th,and things couldn’t have been better.Life was finally worth living again.Thanks for reading,God Bless.
